…stacy, the park, and a chocolate chip cookie from levain!
or: the joy of implementing non-existent new years resolutions.
happy new year, peeps! it’s a little late, but the year is still pretty new – and at least i can start off this first 2012-post by announcing i already have implemented a new years resolution, instead coming up with a boring list of things i’ll never do anyway (i neglect the fact that this resolution never existed in the first place; the feel-good effect of naming it an implemented resolution is just so much better! and better implement a never existent resolution than not implement an existing one… or so? ha!).
anyway… a little context:
ran 10k, my longest run ever
last run in the park, as a prep for my 6k-thanksgiving run
1 jan-26 feb 2012:
6 weeks bootcamp. classes are intense, but i don’t do anything else when it comes to working out.
…and so, we arrive today (well, 2 days ago from posting)
27 feb 2012:
6:30am: get up
7:00am: start work at the bakery
7:00am-1:30pm: drink lots of coffee, eat breakfast, lunch, and 1,5 cookie in between
2:30-5:30pm: home, work on some projects that take wayyy longer then i want – i’m getting annoyed
5:30pm: decide last minute to go for run in the park (next month no bootcamp for me, so want to get into rhythm of running again)
5:55pm: the hill at 75th street east side, always a hard one, somehow seems easy this time. ‘the harlem hill [=bootcamp hill] is way steeper’ i think to myself, and ‘during stacy’s [bootcamp teacher] classes i get way more out of breath then this’.
6:00pm: going smooth along east side of the reservoir. start wondering for how long i could do this running thing. feeling confident, i think i might be able to do more then my maximum of 1 circle (=10k).
6:03pm: i wonder if i could do 2 loops…
6:06pm: that would basically mean half a marathon. HALF.A.MARATHON!!! that sounds so… unrealistic but COOL! half a marathon sounds like i could NEVER do that. but two circles… mmm… i’m going strong and don’t feel tired. i don’t wanna be overconfident, but… what if? could i?
6:13pm: right before i finish my first circle i realize that one circle is not 10k, since i skip the most northern part. bummer. in the past few minutes i got so in the ‘half marathon hype’ that it doesn’t seem exciting anymore to do all this for 18k, or so… that seems so lame compared to that unreachable-and-very-cool half marathon. i begin to think i might just stop at one circle and finish my (still great, i used to run less far) workout.
6:17: just a few steps before the one circle line, i hear the same song playing on my ipod. what, the same song?? that means i have ran A WHOLE CD LONG WITHOUT STOPPING! that has never happened. this is a sign*. i can’t stop now. suddenly i feel like i would be SO disappointed in myself if i would stop now (don’t ask me where my overachiever-ish pushy attitude towards myself comes from… one thing is for sure, i could use some of that in several other areas in my life!)
6:20pm: start running my second loop and don’t understand people look at me weirdly when i’m running with a huge smile on my face. i feel like saying ‘hellloooo!! this is my SECOND circle, peeps! now sing along with me!’ of course i don’t this. and i wasn’t singing out loud, promise. but somehow, i felt so good about myself, it’s kind of embarrassing.
6:35pm: i am passing that now-second-time-around-actually-kind-of-annoying 75th street east side hill again. i am trying to tell myself the thoughts i had one loop ago; it really isn’t that hard, bootcamp is wayyy harder… etc. it’s a little harder to convince myself, but on the straight part that follows i feel good again. whoohaa!!
6:50pm: passing the northern part of the park and start my run down on the west side. i am getting tired, and realize again i will NOT have run half a marathon when i finish this circle. 18-19k, at most. ah! the frustration (again, don’t ask why i would not be happy with my longest run by far EVER. why???)
7:00pm: i am tired and my legs and feet start to hurt. i decide that, after two circles, i will check how far i ran and if i am over 17k, i will try to make it to 21. i push the thought away that this might NOT be the best thing for my body (running this long without real running training…). the only thing i think is: no half marathon = not cool, half marathon = cool.
7:05pm: finish second circle. i check: 16.6k. ouch, still almost 5k to go! but i can’t stop. my body really kinda wants to, but i just don’t stop. one more lower (=way smaller) circle through south part of the park should do it. i know that that circle is only 3k, but i hope that through a miracle it should be at least between 20 and 21 k.
7:15pm: i think my face… doesn’t look happy right now. i am not happy, but still
7:20pm: i finish the small circle, check once again, and still have 1,5k to go! nooooooo!!! i now feel bad. but.i.can.not.stop. ‘i will prove to stacy (who: 1. probably would recommend to stop right now because i am hurting and 2. couldn’t care less whether or not i can finish half a marathon as i have never mentioned that as a goal) that i can do this, by solely preparing with bootcamp’ (…) ‘i will prove to myself that i am capable of doing things i think i cannot do and write a self-help book about it to complete my integration in america)’ (…) ‘i will make matt fall of his chair by accomplishing this’ (…) ‘i will be able to tell for the rest of my life i have done this’**
7:25pm: i push through, up north again. i see another hill. i turn around. i am basically running up and down the street now. at 66 street i run towards central park west and north again towards the 70’s. ouch. i want to sit in a hot tub right now, and not feel pain. for some reason, i’m still running.
7:27pm: on central park west, right before 72 street, I FINISH 21.1k!!! aaaahh!!!
I JUST DID THIS!!! why??? i don’t know. it was a rush! i was ‘in it’ in a way i have not experienced before.*** I RAN HALF A MARATHON ‘just like that’ (not really ‘just like that’. the spot where my legs are attached to the rest of my body hurts A LOT, and actually, i have to force myself to keep walking (and not continue running or stop walking, what i am inclined to do if i don’t force myself). anyway, i did-did-did it.
a non-existent resolution was born by fulfillment.
7:30pm: i walk-walk-walk, walk into a store, buy a disgusting gatorade (while walking around the cashier because i am afraid of cramps when i stand still… i don’t even know if that is how you get cramps but it’s something i vaguely remember someone telling me).
7:40pm: i walk more and drink my gatorade, and text a screenshot of run keeper (app) to matt, who thinks a am insane, but superhero-insane. whoohaa!
8:00pm: i come home, freshen up, and we go to my favorite Italian restaurant. I HAVE JUST FINISHED HALF A MARATHON, WHOO HOO! let’s celebrate!
~ the end ~****
told ya… all i needed was these two. so here goes, a special thanks to:
stacy berman @ www.stacysbootcamp.com, for getting me, without knowing, in ‘half marathon shape’, and
levain bakery @ www.levainbakery.com, for feeding me cookies that make me able to run this far.
*) for the sake of convenience, i started believing in signs. temporarily. my normal self doesn’t believe in signs:)
**) unlikely because i hate people who brag about this stuff
whom i now unwillingly belong to because i write about this online(!), a.k.a. the never erasable memory of the world. so, i mean the really-really annoying people who brag about this in real life, verbally. blogs and self help books are excluded. ha;-)
***) date publication self-help book ‘how to randomly do something hard instead of wisely preparing for it – and feel good about it’ to be determined
****) my apologies for the high bragging-level of this post. couldn’t stop posting it because i’m so freakin’ proud of myself!. but: pretty stupid to come back to the w.w.w. after a little silence, just with something to brag about. next time more real-life, down-to-earth stuff! ciao peeps!